Vision in Violet

This past week I stopped at a few different malls for quick Christmas shopping trips after work. I happened to be wearing the same purple-ish blue-ish dress on two of the trips (hey, I've only got so many clothes that fit right now), and both times I received comments from male sales clerks about my "violet."

"Oh, I really like your violet," one said. "There's the lady with the pretty violet dress," said another, returning from the back room with a pair of boots for me to try on (I didn't say the Christmas shopping was all for other people). "Purple is kind of my color," he added.

I know that sales clerks are supposed to make small talk with you, but for some reason these multiple comments about my dress seemed rather odd to me. For one thing, I didn't realize that the dress was violet, and aren't women supposed to recognize finer shades of color better than men? And secondly, has there been a dearth of violet clothes in the last year, so that my dress would attract such attention? Maybe I just look so radiant in violet that it's hard not to say something, which would be quite a stroke of luck for me, since I only bought the dress because it was $15 and fit my expanding belly without making it look like I ate three large burritos for lunch.

In any case, the small talk didn't lead to sales success for either of the men. The first guy actually talked himself out of a sale. After commenting on my violet, he continued to pester me with questions instead of leaving me to my browsing. When I finally caved in and started describing that I was looking for a shirt for my rather small husband (sorry dear), he asked many detailed questions about the size of Joe's waist and shoulders, got out a measuring tape to measure several different shirts, talked for a good ten minutes about the relative body shapes of different men who happened to be in the vicinity, and then wrapped it up by telling me I should come back in a week because things would be 50% off instead of 25%. By the end of his monologue I was so uncomfortable about his detailed descriptions of the buffness level of the salesman across the aisle that I almost bought a shirt just to shut him up. When I realized he was actually telling me to go away and not buy anything, I wanted to say, "What was with the violet comment and all the pestering if you weren't even going to sell me something?" but I came to my senses and took the escape he was providing.

The second guy, whose color is "kind of" violet, sabotaged his "pretty violet dress" lead-in by proving that he had no sense of style whatsoever. I was shopping for a pair of black riding boots (to wear with the darned violet dress) and asked to try on two different boots of a similar style. He came back with my two requested boots, plus a pair of the ridiculous "shape-up" sneakers being advertised on TV right now. When I looked at him questioningly he explained that the sales people are instructed to always bring out an additional option whenever someone requests to try something on. He said he doesn't really like doing it, but since he's supposed to, he thought I might like these. "And what exactly gave you the impression that my butt needs toning?" I wanted to ask. Instead I tried on my boots, made him bring out four additional pairs, and then left without buying anything (and without trying on the sneakers). I didn't really do this intentionally, but I was aware of a certain irony as he had to watch my violet ass walk away without making a sale.

In summary, I don't think I'll be wearing the violet dress to the mall again. As nice as the compliments were in the beginning, I think I prefer anonymity when shopping. If the dress had gotten me faster service, or even just efficient service with a smile, I would maybe feel differently. But since it seems to just attract odd men who actually make purchasing difficult, I think I'll do without.