Scene at the Gym

I think I'm going to attempt to start a regular feature on this blog: odd things people are wearing at the gym. With the return of warm weather there's guaranteed to be some inappropriate swimsuit sightings at the very least. These are the perks of working out at a community center with a pool, and working out during the day when all the normal people my age are working.

Scene #1: Just Swimming...and Working Out...and Lounging
Golden High School must have been closed today, or else kids were skipping school en masse. My first swimsuit sighting of the year was a 15-year-old girl wearing a brown halter top bikini covered by a black tube top and a very small, very flouncy black skirt. While I don't think I will ever work out in a halter top or a tube top (much less both at once), what was really strange is that she was wearing brown fuzzy leather slippers without socks while riding the bike. My feet were sweating just looking at her.

Person #2: Scary Midriff Woman
Directly behind Slippered Swimsuit Girl was a 50+ woman working very hard on the elliptical machine. She was wearing the ubiquitous tight black exercise pants but she'd somehow managed to find the mom-jeans version because they went all the way up to her belly button. How do I know this? Because apparently she was working so hard she needed to let off some extra steam and decided the best way to do that was to twist the sides of her shirt and tuck them into her bra so that two inches of belly showed between the top of her pants and the bottom of her shirt. Let me tell you, something that would be a muffin top is not improved by extending the muffin cup to a higher point: the top just gets larger.

Person #3: The Larry King Look-Alike
This guy was leaving the gym area right as I walked in so I only got a fleeting glance, but he left a smile on my face for a good ten minutes afterward. He had to have been in his eighties, was skinny as a rail and had thick dark glasses. And of course, suspenders. But the best part was what went with the suspenders. Under his black suspenders he had a steel grey collared dress shirt buttoned to the top button and tucked into heather grey cotton sweatpants. The sweatpants weren't cuffed, though, and were at least two inches too short, leaving them to flap vigorously above his ankles when he walked, exposing a good expanse of white sock above his black dress shoes. And the best part of the whole outfit: black weightlifting gloves. Because clearly he was in for a serious workout. Or at least his pants and gloves were. The rest thought they were going to a business lunch.

I love my gym.