Second verse, same as the first

This morning 99% of Denver woke up and said, "S#*%! It snowed!"
I woke up and said, "H#*% yeah, it snowed!"

It was the pretty, fluffy poofy snow that glitters and makes everything look so pretty. You know, the kind that actually makes it fun to brush off your car, because you can send it flying with one good sweep and there's no scrape-requiring ice lurking on your windshield underneath. And for a whole hour I thought it might last through the day, because it was really coming down: big beautiful flakes, muted quiet streets, people out shoveling and waving, idiots driving 2 mph with snow completely covering all windows except for a little face-sized patch on the windshield which keeps filling in with the snow they neglected to remove from the rest of the car.... And then the good old Colorado sun came out and turned it into slushy brown glop in a matter of 30 minutes. Boo.

Which is why I needed the excellent turquoise-swirled rubber boots Abby gave me for Christmas. Take away my snow-induced giddiness and I'll give you whimsical rubber boots! Lay down sand in beach-like quantities, salt the roads until shoes distintigrate by sheer proximity! Create mud that sprays so far up the back of my dress coat that it looks like I rode my fenderless bike to work! I don't care because I have boots that used to be appropriate only for four year old girls!

Or at least, I wouldn't care. But my boots had to be exchanged for a larger size (apparently they are designed for feet only slightly larger than a four year old girl's), and are somewhere in shipping limbo. So today's chorus once again: boo.