Harper Mae Beer

Harper's first night in the crib made by Grandpa Phil.

Before labor really got started I had all these grand ideas of posting quick updates to my blog throughout the whole process to let people know what was going on. I've been on the other side of waiting for news about the arrival of someone's baby, so I know how much people want to be kept in the loop. Well, now I know why us waiters are never satisfied with the quantity and quality of news. This having a baby thing is a full time gig!

So here, finally, is the story: I'd been having regular contractions throughout the afternoon on Monday, and by about 4:30 they were noticeable enough to stop me from doing whatever it was I was doing, but not frequent enough that I thought we should be timing them. By 6pm they were about 15-17 minutes apart, and by the time we went to bed early at 9, they were about 7-10 minutes apart. I called my doctor to give her a heads up, and then attempted to sleep for awhile knowing that it would most likely be an eventful night. I think I slept about 30 minutes. I finally got up at 10:30 because the contractions were too painful to keep lying down, and they were about 6-8 minutes apart (we were supposed to head to the hospital at 5-7).

I was sitting at the kitchen table around midnight, looking through the REI catalog trying to distract myself when my water broke. My first thought was, "Holy crap I've peed my pants...oh wait, that's probably my water" and then "oh crap, it'll ruin the wooden chair...oh crap, if it's all over the chair how will I smell it" because yes, folks, you have to smell it to prove that it really is water and that you didn't just pee your pants. I made it to the bathroom and attempted to remember the acronym that was supposed to help me remember what to do when my water broke. Joe and I had joked about this acronym many times, because it's something that's completely unrelated to the task it's supposed to help you remember, and is therefore not very memorable. After remembering all the phony acronyms we'd made up (TREX, ROBOT, SHOE) and what they stood for (I won't elaborate because the topic of labor brings up many details that the majority of people don't need to know) I finally remembered that it was COAT. I smelled it, confirmed it wasn't pee, noted the time it happened, changed my pants, and woke up Joe.

For someone who can hold entire conversations in his sleep, he woke up pretty quickly and calmly. We grabbed the suitcases and the car seat and were on the road at 12:30. I called my doctor again, and we made it to the hospital at 1am. I managed to convince Joe to stop at all the red lights except one, which we hit while I was having a contraction so I couldn't talk, and the lack of objection combined with the lack of traffic meant Joe felt braking slightly was sufficient.

We ended up having to wait two hours in the labor triage part of the hospital. Immediately after I arrived five other women also showed up, and for whatever reason they claimed priority. So after two hours of sitting with two monitors strapped to my belly, the nurse came in, finally declared that yes, my water had broken, strapped the first of many arm bracelets around my wrist and escorted us upstairs to the actual labor ward.

Here I met the first resident and nurse that would be taking care of me until my doctor showed up for the exciting part. We talked about how I was hoping to avoid pain medication if possible, and they clearly thought I was nuts. I didn't like them very much for that, but it turns out they were right. Shortly after we arrived in the labor ward the contractions grew strong enough that I couldn't stand up without puking, even when I wasn't having a contraction. So then I was left sitting on the bed once again, and pretty soon I couldn't do that without throwing up either. It's a bit hard to distract yourself from the pain if you're simultaneously throwing up, so I told Joe I was considering getting the epidural.

Up until this point they still hadn't done a cervical check to see how far along I was because my water had broken, so at 6am they finally checked and said I'd made it 5 centimeters and 80% effaced--so halfway. I knew there was no way I was going to make it through the second half without pain medication, so I made the nurse's day and said "Sign me up for the drugs." And let me tell you, the drugs were wonderful. For me, they allowed me to stop puking and get some much-needed sleep without slowing the progress of labor. I ended up needing a low dose of Pitocin at the end, but by about 11 I was fully effaced and dilated. My doctor arrived for the pushing phase and in less than an hour of his arrival Harper Mae was born. It was slightly more complicated than that, but I'll save those details for those who really want them. All in all it was a good delivery without too many complications, and I was really, really pleased with my doctor and the resident and nurse who were there to help (I got a new resident and nurse at the start of the new shift in the morning).

I would be remiss if I didn't also point out the heroic role Joe played in this whole thing. He skipped meals so he could stay with me, he wiped my face after I puked, he got me an orange popsicle when I demanded it and then wiped my face again after I puked that up, and he watched the entire delivery while holding my left leg. Remember, this is the kid who nearly passed out during our first ultrasound. He did a great job and was definitely as exhausted as I was when it was all over.

We spent one night in the hospital and then were given the green light to go home the following afternoon. The hospital was an odd place, meant for resting but full of nurses, doctors and aides popping in every 30 minutes for something. We were nervous about coming home, but definitely ready to get some real rest in our own bed. Harper's first night went pretty smoothly, and after four days both Joe and I are starting to return to something of our former selves. Of course there are many stories to share about the last four days at home, but this post is long enough. More to come as I get the time.

Harper doing the John Travolta.